The concept of culture has an immense range of meanings and so it is hard to find a single definition for culture. Cultures have provided people with different ways of thinking, seeing and interpreting the world. Hence, cultural conflicts can arise unconsciously if we are not aware or familiar with foreign cultures.
This particular incident took place when I was on my vacation trip to Thailand a few months ago. My family and I were making our way back to the hotel after a long day of travelling and shopping when, all of a sudden, we heard someone calling loudly behind us. Turning around, we saw a woman and a little boy waving in our direction. It turned out that the little boy found a shopping bag which we had dropped off carelessly. My sister took the bag from the little boy, thanked him for his help and gave him a pat on his head. To our surprise, the woman pushed my sister’s hand away from her son’s head and looked at us with annoyance. She then stomped off, holding her son’s hand, and left us shocked and puzzled at the same time. We wondered what we had done wrong but were not able to come up with any plausible answers.
It was only some time after the incident that we learnt the reason behind the woman’s harsh reaction. A friend of my father told us that the Thais regard the head as the most sacred part of the body and so they strictly do not allow anyone to touch their heads. If we touch someone’s head accidentally, we should make an immediate apology or else we will be perceived as being very rude. In our culture, a touch on someone’s head is not an offensive act. It is deemed an acceptable action, just like a hug or a wave of hand. My father even gave me a pat on my head when he walked past me just a while ago!
This incident has led me to be more aware of the importance of inter-cultural competence. Inter-cultural competence does not only relate to the multi-racial cultures in our country, but also to the cultures that are foreign to us. The situation would not have turned out to be an unpleasant one if we had gained some understanding of the Thai culture earlier. By doing so, we could have become more appreciative of the culture and sensitive to the people within it.
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ReplyDeleteHi Peiling,
ReplyDeleteYour father gave you a pat on the head to show that he cares and loves you. However, a pat could mean something else in another culture; in this case, it was considered rude in Thai culture. I believe you have learnt that cultural differences do not just exist between races in Singapore but across the globe. Hence, it is important that we find out more about the country we are visiting to avoid such conflicts. I believe this is especially important in a business setting.
I guess we couldn't blame the Thai for being so agressive as the head is regarded as the most sacred part of the body. I'm sure your sister wouldn't have given him a pat if she knew it. I believe the Thai mother wouldn't be as angry if she knew that the pat was just a friendly gesture. Again, it leads to undertanding cultual differences and being tolerant about it.
Thanks for sharing. :)
Love,
Shiny
Hey Peiling,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to how you felt in this incident because a similar scenario happened to me!
I was really worried to have offended the Thai boy and his father. It is amazing how different gestures have different meanings all over the world. Indeed we have to be more aware of the cultures and habits of people in foreign countries. I think in situations like this, we can only apologise for being ignorant and learn from it.=)
Ruth
Thank you, Pei Ling, for sharing this family vacation encounter. Your story shows clearly that behaviors can be interpreted differently depending on the cultural context. People, whether individuals or groups, can show amazing similarity and yet startling difference at the same time. Some people may lump Thais and Singaporean Chinese together in the same Asian basket, but as you know, to do so would be to ignore vital differences.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your effort at wrestling with this topic.